hye ms blog! its been a whileeeee since i left you. hehe. well, i guess it has been 6 months+ saya tak update blog ni. sorry, sebab time tu saya tengah happy menghabiskan masa bersama-sama seorang manusia bernama (hell im not going to mention his name) sampai tak ada masa nak update awak. but yeah i was verrrryyy happy at that moment of time, yet and until it stopped around the end of april because apparently he has another girl. well, this is according to his FRIEND pun, not from his own mouth and up until now, i dont hear a single word from him. he dont bother to explain what really happened, what went wrong. if i ever did wrong, i just want him to tell me, i want to know.
he left. and he left just like that.
i've been through hell for about a month. macam ORANG BODOH pun ada. tak makan, bukan tak nak makan, TAK BOLEH makan. what more? i quit my job. yup. i quit my job. cry??? jangan cakap la kan. macam orang GILA menangis. name one time i DID NOT cry? NONE. i cried on the day i was called to the Bar. i was supposed to be the happiest person on that day, i got admitted as advocate and solicitor kot! it has been my cita2 dari kecik okay ;( apa lagi? hmm, drive menangis, masuk toilet nangis, nak tidur nangis, bangun tidur nangis, i felt like i was a piece of shit at that time. I could barely open my eyes pun. the worst part is, i cannot cry at home. my mom cannot see me crying. tak boleh! so where do i go? i was lost. totally lost. i went to every one's place just to get away, to have someone accompanying me. i have a bag full of clothes, stuffs in my car just in case i decided to crash at their place. my car was my moving home. i had everything at the back seat of my car sampai org nak duduk pun tak ada tempat. i spent a lot. i had chocolates everyday. i'll make sure i have a bar of snickers in my handbag. sampai ada this one day, it melted in my handbag and i dont fucking care to wash it. i have never use my credit card, but when this happened, i spent 1k in 2 weeks time. only god knows i spent on what. saya dah tak ingat. i took more than a month to pull myself together. i cried when me and my friends were having dinner @ The curve. saya takut, saya takut saya nampak dia dengan orang lain. saya tak kuat lagi. and ya, the memories we had toegether rushed thru my head everytime i went to the places that we've been. sedih. sampai sekarang, i couldn not step my foot at Pvl. i used jalan kuching from gombak to damansara when actually i can just use mrr2, but i cant. i'll pass by his house if i were to use mrr2. and that, my friend, is not a good idea. thats how this person had affected my life.
ok, i'll update more later k. everyone in the office dah siap2 nak balik. im not going to stay alone here. huh, mmg tak la kan. see ya later aligator :)
